Pocket Legends
by Kyogre
Summary: Complete. May didn't set out to catch legendary Pokemon... But somehow she still ended up with a collection. (ORAS-based, humor)
1. Kyogre

**Title:** Pocket Legends

 **Summary:** May didn't set out to catch legendary Pokemon... at first. But after a while, it seemed like fate. (ORAS-based, humor)

 **Notes:** Just something stupid. Mostly based on ORAS, but with some elements from Emerald and some headcanons.

~.~.~

 **#2 Kyogre**

May didn't set out to catch legendary Pokemon. And, really, did Latias even count? The Eon Pokemon had practically caught herself, without even a battle. And it was all basically Steven's fault anyway, since he was the one the Eon twins had been looking for in the first place.

Sadly, she couldn't blame Steven for Kyogre. That was all on her.

~.~.~

To begin with, she was the one who took the Red Orb and ran off into the Cave of Origin.

It was, in retrospect, a patently stupid move. Her father had been entirely right to look like he wanted a stiff drink when he heard about it afterwards.

But as May stood there, in the middle of Sootopolis, torrential rain pounding down and almost drowning out the argument between Steven, Wallace and Archie, she couldn't help but feel responsible. She was the one who had failed to stop Team Aqua at Mt. Pyre, at Slateport, at Lilycove... but more importantly, she had completely failed to tell anyone about what was happening until it was too late.

The police were always pretty slow to respond and not really equipped to handle battles on the level of the Aqua admins, but she could have gone to Rustboro and asked President Stone to contact Steven. She could have even gone to her father. If there had been someone helping her storm the hideout at Lilycove or even at Mt. Pyre, they might have made it in time to stop Team Aqua's plans.

But instead May had treated it all like a big adventure and chased Team Aqua on her own. And look where that landed them — the entire region about to end up underwater.

"I'm the Champion, it's my responsibility!" Steven was saying again, barely audible over the rain.

Wallace waved it aside sharply. "Even so, it's a bad matchup for you. What if it dives? Would you even be able to fight it underwater? I should go. Protecting the ancient traditions is the responsibility of the people of Sootopolis."

"If it's anyone's responsibility, it's mine!" Archie shot back. "I'm the one who made this mess, I'm gonna be the one to fix it!"

"Given your track record, you would only worsen the situation," Maxie sneered. But at least he didn't put himself up too.

The argument had been going around in circles for a while now. In the end, the Red Orb would only protect one person and their team, so only one of them could go. None were willing to concede and wait helplessly outside.

Well, May could understand that. It didn't feel right to wait and do nothing. That's not what May was like — and that was why she had been the one to get the Red Orb in the first place. If anyone should go... Gripping it a little harder in her hand, she looked down into the orb's depths.

And came to a stupid, impulsive decision.

One sneaking step back, another — just like sneaking up on a patch of shaking grass. Through the pouring rain, the men still arguing in front of her didn't even notice. A few more steps, and she could barely make out their silhouettes. They didn't seem to have noticed either...

So May booked it. Spinning around, she dashed headlong toward the entrance to the Cave of Origins

"—ay!"

She thought she heard someone calling her name, but it didn't matter. The doors were right ahead. May didn't slow to push the doors open — launching into the air, she crashed into them with double flying kick, throwing them open with a bang.

Stumbling a little on the landing, she felt her breath catch for a moment before it suddenly cleared away. It must have been the intense natural energy they'd been talking about — and the Red Orb protecting her from it, May realized, already running again.

It was a straight path ahead toward a roughly hewn stairway down. Putting on an extra burst of speed, May hurried onward.

~.~.~

"—May! May, wait!" Steven shouted, chasing after her.

She either ignored him or didn't hear. Unfortunately, she'd gotten too much of a head start — he couldn't catch her before she got to the cave entrance, and inside...

Steven hadn't expected the effect to be that immediate. The air inside the cave was visibly shimmering with natural energy, thick enough that he could feel it against his skin and when he breathed in. And breathing was suddenly becoming very difficult, the air too heavy. His head swam, and he stumbled.

Someone grabbed his arm and dragged him back, just back past the doors to the Cave of Origin, into the rain but also clear air.

"Do you really have rocks for brains?" Wallace scolded, dropping to one knee next to Steven and breathing hard. "Weren't you listening? You can't go in without the Red Orb to protect you!"

Still trying to catch his breath, Steven shook his head.

"I know," Wallace agreed, his tone softening. "But there's nothing we can do now."

Archie and Maxie had approached, joining them as they looked past the doors into the cave, into the shimmering veils of energy that faded into darkness. "All we can do is leave it up to that scamp..." Archie said quietly.

They were silent for a moment.

Wrinkling his nose irritably, Maxie blinked like a Hoothoot in daytime and finally pulled off his waterlogged glasses. The square of cloth he pulled out of his pocket was equally soaked, but he went through the motions of wiping the lenses anyway. "According to my calculations, Kyogre has not regained its true power," he said blandly. "Not even a fraction, really. Even that child should be fine." He paused and added, "Unless the standards of the gyms in Hoenn have dropped significantly."

Understandably, he received three dark looks — not that he could see them.

~.~.~

May suddenly felt like she wanted to punch a nerd.

Maybe that swayed her judgement. Because that was when she did the next stupid thing.

She had been feeling increasingly aware of her own recklessness, between the increasingly frequent tremors, the rain that began to fall despite the lack of sky, the unsettling noise from her PokeNav that gave way to nothing but static... and the shining burst of power that changed Kyogre into Primal Kyogre, as if its initial forme was not intimidating enough.

But somehow... Primal Kyogre was not quite as overwhelming as May had expected. It was powerful, far more powerful than any single Pokemon she had ever faced. But not "created the seas" powerful.

It had clearly not been able to entirely shake off her Castform's Thunders, retaliating violently and furiously until it managed to slip past Latias's screening guard to knock out the tiny Weather Pokemon. And her Mega Blaziken's Stone Edge had thrown it clear out of the water — just as May had intended, of course, but still.

"Latias! Distract it and Mist Ball again!" May ordered. "Chic, finish this with High Jump Kick!"

So what if she was using two Pokemon against one? This was the fate of the region at stake.

Screeching, Kyogre reacted to the first threat. The shining water beams of its signature move shot toward Latias, making her swerve and roll to avoid getting hit as she fired off her attack. They also intercepted the Mist Ball, setting off a small blast of air and water.

But that just meant Mega Blaziken's approach was hidden until she suddenly burst through the haze, burning leg extended. The force of the High Jump Kick tore through Kyogre's weakened Aqua Ring and plowed into its pale underbelly, crashing Kyogre into the rock.

Soaked and tired but still ready to fight, Chic jumped back quickly and raised one leg in preparation to attack again. But, peeling slowly out of the crater it had been driven into and flopping onto the cavern floor, Kyogre only made a weak screech of protest and halfheartedly waved its tail.

It's in the red, May's trainer instincts said.

And that's where it went wrong again. Because she was supposed to— well, actually, May wasn't sure what she was supposed to do with Kyogre. She hadn't really thought past "battle it." Were they going to knock it out and pray it was in a better, non-cataclysmic mood when it woke up? Tow it to the Seafloor Cavern before it revived and wall it back in?

Kyogre make another, slightly firmer noise, dragging the beginnings of a new Aqua Ring around itself with a wave of its tail.

It was trying to heal itself, just when she'd gotten it weak enough! (For what...?)

May reacted without thinking. At all.

"Ah," she let out intelligently, watching the Poke Ball she had just thrown hit Kyogre right on the nose with perfect accuracy. "Aaaaah! Why did I do that?!"

Given the looks Latias and Mega Blaziken shot her over their shoulders, they were wondering the exact same thing. Neither felt anything approaching enthusiasm about being on a team with an ill-tempered incarnation of perpetual rainstorms.

The Poke Ball rocked once, twice, three times, and clicked.

Well.

May shot it a dirty look, but she had no one to blame but herself.

~.~.~

"I can't believe this," May muttered under her breath as she strode up to the doors of the Sootopolis City gym. "I saved your entire stupid town from flooding — the entire region! You could just give me the stupid badge. If I can take on a super ancient Pokemon, obviously I can take a gym leader, right...?"

The nerve of that under-dressed smirking loser Wallace. True, he'd been ready and willing to go fight Kyogre himself, so maybe he didn't think of it as much of a benchmark, but just doing the deed had to count for something, right? Like a medal — or a badge.

But no, off to the gym she went. A water type gym, no less. She'd handled the water-iest water type of all! It was on her belt at that very moment! This was just...

Suddenly, May had an idea. A terrible, stupid idea.

She still had that Thunder TM, after all.

~.~.~

A raindrop landed on Wallace's nose, then another — then an entire downpour. He sighed, flicking his soaked fringe out of his face and squinted up at the clouds that had formed just below the ceiling of his gym.

Such was the downside of running a water type gym. Well, it wasn't like a Rain Dance or two would...

Wait. 'None of my girls can make a Rain Dance this strong or widespread,' Wallace thought. It had to be the challenger, then. The challenger... 'She wouldn't.'

Except that she very much had.

"Either you Body Slam that Luvdisc, or I'll body slam you!" May raged, at the lowest level of the gym. Digging in her heels, she pulled with all her might, and next to her, her Blaziken did the same — both of them holding tightly to half of Kyogre's tail fins.

Kyogre make a low sound of disinterest and, gathering water around itself, sent a wave crashing over May and Chic. Sputtering, the two let go of their hold, and Kyogre took the chance to plunge as deep as the gym's pool would allow... which was unfortunately not very deep. The modern age definitely did not agree with it. Was a nice long nap — maybe a century or two — too much to ask for?

"Get back up here!" May yelled, shaking her waterlogged hair out of her face.

Kyogre pretended not to notice.

The poor terrified Luvdisc tried to use Rain Dance — or perhaps, more accurately, tried to appease the displeased Pokemon god it found itself faced with. But there was no relief from the heavy rain.

Groaning, Wallace palmed his face. He should have just given her the badge, he realized.

~.~.~


	2. Rayquaza and Deoxys

**Notes:** Just a short chapter this time. These are mostly just drabbles that I was doing to get a feel for the series.

~.~.~

 **#3 Rayquaza and #4 Deoxys**

But, hey, weird things happen. Sometimes you... accidentally (kinda) catch a legendary Pokemon. May would have been fine — more than fine — with just the one. The two. But Latias didn't count, really.

(...In retrospect, having to make excuses like that was already a sign.)

Rayquaza? All Zinnia's fault. And while they were at it, so was Deoxys, because one followed the other.

~.~.~

"Really?" May asked, dubiously at Zinnia, then back toward Rayquaza. "Is this really the time for that? We kind of have a meteorite to stop."

"Rayquaza want to see your power," Zinnia confirmed, nodding. "Use everything you've got and win it over!"

"Why don't you do it?" May demanded. "You're the dragon-type trainer here!"

Not to mention the Draconid clan's Lorekeeper, with a special connection to Rayquaza in particular. In fact, she was the one who had summoned Rayquaza to begin with, so wasn't Zinnia obviously the better candidate for this?

May's only accomplishment in this whole thing was carrying around a whole lot of junk in her pack, including some magic rock — she didn't even remember where she got it from, at this point. (Probably from Steven, going by statistics. She got a lot of rocks from him. Quite a few had mystic powers of some sort.)

Smiling far too calmly and knowingly, Zinnia shook her head. "No, May. You're the one who stopped Kyogre's rampage and saved Hoenn."

Rampage was far too strong a word, in May's opinion. All that overgrown Wooper wanted, she had found out, was to find some deep pool of water to nap in. Frankly, she wasn't too sure Kyogre would have ever gotten around to actually leaving Cave of Origins, which seemed to be roughly its perfect location — dark, wet, and empty of other lifeforms to bother it.

"You're Hoenn's hero, May! It's only right that you should save our land again!" Zinnia went on, smiling and nodding to herself. She sounded awfully passionate, May noted.

...A closet romantic. Wonderful. That... actually explained a lot.

"You know what happened to Kyogre," May shot back. Crossing her arms, she raised an eyebrow in challenge. "Maybe I'll catch Rayquaza too."

Zinnia laughed — like the great protector of the region that her clan worshipped being stuffed into a Poke Ball was totally okay. "If Rayquaza allows itself to be caught, then I suppose it's fate," she said.

Well. May had to do it after that. Her dad didn't raise her to back down (unfortunately, despite his best efforts).

~.~.~

To add insult to injury, Zinnia and her overpowered dragon team completely trashed May afterwards — proving she was more than capable of taking on Rayquaza herself. But, you know, that wouldn't be fitting enough or something.

~.~.~

Still, after coming back from space — and there was a thing she wanted to pretend never happened; space, really? — May felt that perhaps, just maybe, carrying around a being capable of destroying extinction-level meteorites in her pocket was perhaps not the best, most respectful choice. Also, kinda worrying, since what if there were more meteorites that needed to be destroyed, but May didn't hear about it in time to let Rayquaza go?

Or, at the very least, she didn't feel comfortable leaving Rayquaza in a PC Box, and she wanted that sixth party slot back.

The plan was to return to the summit of Sky Pillar and release Rayquaza there. If she had to beat it unconscious and ditch it, then so be it, May was prepared for that. Hopefully. Unless Rayquaza blew her up like a meteorite. That was also a possibility May remained uncomfortably aware of.

...Except that the top of Sky Pillar was already occupied.

May stared at Deoxys. Deoxys stared at May — apparently with no lasting damage from getting blow up in space.

"Okay," May decided. "I guess that's just how it is."

~.~.~

Rayquaza did not get released. May lost another team spot to an alien.

At that point, catching all the other legendary Pokemon seemed like the only option left. If you can beat them, make them join you, or something.

~.~.~


	3. Groudon

**Notes:** This part is based a bit on Emerald, but also on ORAS. In ORAS, you can only catch one, Kyogre or Groudon, not both. In Emerald, neither goes to Cave of Origin iirc.

~.~.~

 **#5 Groudon**

Once you had four legendary Pokemon, it only made sense to get the rest, right? If you can't beat fate, embrace it, and all that.

Having decided this, May felt a great sense of relief. It was also nice to have a goal again. She'd beaten the gyms, the Elite Four, and even the Champion. There was the Battle Resort and the PokeDex, but May didn't really want to become a battle maniac like her father, and hunting down every single Pokemon in Hoenn seemed more Brendan's thing. He had it covered.

Also, the expression on Maxie's face, when he walked into his office to find her sitting in his chair, feet up on his desk, was absolutely priceless.

"How did you get in?!" he hissed. "How did you even find this place?"

She got the location of the Team Magma base from a grunt at Battle Resort. But May didn't tell him, just smirking. Maxie shot her a glare, pushing up his glasses and trying to pretend she hadn't seen him lose composure.

"What do you want? Despite what you might think, my team and I are earnest in our desire to change," he said. "We have given up our old ways and will work toward the future the right way."

"I believe you," May assured him. She even believed that Archie meant it too, when he said the same thing. "I just wanted to ask you something. You and Team Aqua were a lot alike, right? And you said you might have ended up being the ones who caused a disaster like they did. So that means you guys tried to find and awaken Groudon, right?"

This time, Maxie managed to contain his reaction to just a twitch of his eyebrow, but May had been watching closely.

"So where is it?" she asked, without waiting for his pointless denials.

She and Maxie stared at each other stubbornly.

"Do you wanna battle for it?" May suggested.

It was hard to keep a straight face when Maxie winced and glared. "Fine," he bit out. "I show tell you. I suppose, if anyone should know, just in case..." Gesturing for her to follow, he headed out of his office.

~.~.~

Team Magma's base occupied a cave system deep within Mt. Chimney — one of them, at least, just off the Jagged Pass. The air in the tunnels was sweltering, and May had no idea how the Magma members could handle it in their thick red turtlenecks.

It only grew hotter as Maxie led the way deeper and deeper, the halls growing empty of his subordinates, the walls increasingly less touched by human construction, until they were making their way through an untouched rock tunnel.

May had an increasingly bad feeling about this. She knew this atmosphere — from the deep seafloor and the cavern there.

"...You found it," she said flatly. "You actually found Groudon?"

Maxie shot her a dirty look over his shoulder — he'd probably been looking forward to make a shocking revelation out of it. "That oaf Archie found Kyogre," he pointed out waspishly. "My team is certainly capable of much more."

Nevermind, May knew what had happened. "Was there a girl with short dark hair who told you where to look?" she guessed.

Judging by Maxie's expression, she was right. 'Zinnia...'

It made sense, if you looked at it from Zinnia's admittedly twisty perspective. All she wanted was a super-ancient Pokemon to rampage and draw Rayquaza down to Hoenn, it didn't matter which one. So why not hedge her bets with two teams of gullible idiots instead of just one? It wasn't like Zinnia would have cared which one got awakened.

There was no telling why she'd gone with Team Aqua in the end, of course. Zinnia, like Steven, had ditched the moment no one was looking. May was going to be watching Wallace very closely for any signs of wanderlust.

"So you know about that woman. She did provide us a hint about where to look," Maxie admitted sourly. "But she disappeared before we could confirm our successful discovery and find out anything else she knew. We were searching for a way to awaken Groudon when Archie went and claimed the Blue Orb. If he had been just days slower to act, it might have been Team Magma that you faced at Mt. Pyre instead."

He turned away, lips thinning — he was well aware, now, of the danger of his plan and, more importantly, that relying on super-ancient Pokemon to fix things for you just didn't really work out.

Unless your problem was a meteorite. That did work.

They had reached a larger chamber that pulsed with a rather ominous red glow. Mining machinery had been left against the walls, the large drills similar to the monstrosity mounted on Team Aqua's stolen submarine. There were other machines too, but May couldn't guess their purpose.

The red light grew brighter as she moved past Maxie and approached a ledge where the ground dropped away... straight into a pool of lava, far below, just like the Mt. Chimney summit.

And in the center of the pool was a large, motionless form — Groudon.

It was in the same petrified state as Kyogre had been at the Seafloor Cavern, until Archie exposed it to the Blue Orb. May sighed. 'Can't catch it like that... Maybe it's for the best,' she thought. At least this way, any other idiot with a brilliant plan would need to hunt down the Red Orb first.

The Red Orb...

Oh no. Oh no...

"We will close off this area soon," Maxie said, standing next to her and looking down at Groudon as well. He smiled thinly. "Humanity can't advance by relying on the power of ancient Pokemon. We will—"

He was cut off by a sudden tremor running through the cavern. A red light, different from the lava, was shining from May's bag, and she could see the exact moment Maxie realized what it was. His expression, when his eyes met May's, was full of disgusted disbelief.

"I'm sorry!" May burst out, shouting over the rumbling. "I forgot, okay?! I didn't think it was actually going to be here, you know!"

If Maxie made any reply, it was drowned out by Groudon's roar, as it awakened with the power of the Red Orb that May had been carrying with her. He might have called her an idiot. It would have been very deserved.

~.~.~

Mega Latias braked sharply only an instance before she and her trainer could plow into Sootopolis's white cliffs. May was leaping off her back even before the dragon had come to a stop, tripping, rolling, stumbling to her feet, and taking off at a sprint.

Blinding sunlight was beating down on the city, reflecting off the stone and making the paths blur into one white expanse. May could just barely make out the dark shape of the ancient tree in the center of town, marking her destination.

Wallace was already there. "You! What did you do?!" he yelled when he spotted her approach. Maybe he could sense her guilt.

"Sorry, sorry! I'll fix it right away!" May shouted back without slowing down. Skidding a little, she took a sharp turn and scrambled up the last set of stairs — up to the Cave of Origin.

Groudon, it turned out, was basically Kyogre, sun version, right down to swimming off (through lava) immediately after being awakened and heading straight for Sootopolis, abnormal weather and everything. It said something about the circus May's life had become that going to face a legendary Pokemon, quite likely in its super powered state no less, just made her feel annoyed.

She wasn't the only one sick of these super-ancient fiascos. Huffing irritably, Wallace tried to find enough shade to hide in — he could already feel the sunburn on his arms and sides. Maybe it was time to consider a more... conservative outfit.

~.~.~

"Here," Maxie said, holding out something for May to take.

It was a Poke Ball, but a design she hadn't seen before, with a purple top and the letter "M" on the front.

"That is how I had planned to control Groudon — the Master Ball," he explained. "It has a perfect catch rate, no matter what Pokemon it's used on. It's a prototype that Tabitha stole from the Devon Corporation. But given your record, it seems you'll get the most use out of it."

"Wow," May said, turning the ball over with interest. "You had a plan?"

"Get out of my office."

~.~.~


	4. Latias

**Notes:** Some headcanons were used, and a reference to HGSS.

~.~.~

 **#1 Latias**

May had to admit she was genuinely a bit impressed by Maxie's unused plan, or at least impressed that he'd made a plan at all.

She supposed it made sense — Archie and Team Aqua had wanted Hoenn to return to its primal state, so letting Kyogre do as it pleased would have suited them just fine... in theory. Caught up in their vision of a perfect world for Pokemon, they hadn't actually realized what that meant, the disasters and destruction that would follow, for both people and the very Pokemon they were trying to help.

But Team Magma's plan had been to use Groudon's power for the benefit of humanity, so having a way to control it would have been a necessary step. And the Master Ball was the solution... in theory. Had Maxie actually gone through with it, he would have unfortunately found out the same thing May did — that Groudon, outside its Primal Reversion, was lazier than a Slakoth and ignored all commands to instead go did itself a hole to sleep in.

Still, the Master Ball sounded quite nice, and she appreciated the gesture... but May didn't intend to keep it.

"Welcome!" the office lady at the front desk greeted her brightly when she stepped into the Devon Corporation building. "So good to see you again!"

"Um, yes," May said awkwardly. "Is the, uh, president here? I have a thing that I want to... talk to him about."

Legendary Pokemon? Sure, May could and had gotten used to them. But being a guest of honor at the region's largest corporation was still nothing short of weird, no matter how nice and patient Steven's dad seemed to be.

"Let me check his schedule," the office lady said, already reaching for the phone. "Please go on up. If President Stone is unavailable, you can wait on the lower floors. He granted you full access."

'This is why you guys got robbed at least four times,' May thought. Steven's dad was nice, yes, but sometimes it was painfully obvious they were related. They were definitely the same kind of scatterbrained.

Mr. Stone was in his office and he welcomed her even more brightly than the receptionist. "May! Come in, come in! It's been a while? How is your journey progressing? Or, I suppose, there's not much left to conquer, once you've defeated not only the Pokemon League, but even a meteorite! That's what you'd call 'out of this world' success!"

He laughed boisterously at his own pun, which was so terrible May couldn't help snickering too. "I kind of found another goal to keep me busy," she admitted. "I ended up talking to Maxie about it, and he told me there was something him and his bunch stole something from Devon. So I wanted to give it back to you."

"This is... yes, this is the Master Ball that went missing," Mr. Stone recognized it immediately when she pulled it out of her pack. "So it was Team Magma that took it..." But when May held it out to him, he shook his head. "No, no. Go ahead and keep it. Consider it a field trial! I'll be interested to hear the results!"

"Are you sure?" May asked, holding it out again. "Normal Poke Balls worked well enough for me." Even on Rayquaza and an alien. What would she even use a perfect catch rate ball on, at this point?

Mr. Stone shook his head. "I'm sure," he said. "Oh, that reminds me. We're finally ready to roll out the Match Call function of the PokeNav Plus! You remember, it's the communication function that Steven used to call you during the meteorite crisis. The full version of Match Call goes both ways, of course. We'll be making it available to the general public in a few weeks, but I can go ahead and update your PokeNav right now."

Handing over her PokeNav, May dithered for a moment while he tinkered with it. "So... Steven," she said finally, and then stopped, unsure of what to say next.

"The business in Kanto is taking longer than we expected," Mr. Stone said absently. "I'm not sure when he'll be back... Were you planning to challenge him again? He's still the Champion, after all. Be gentle with him, okay? My boy's still a little delicate."

'Delicate?' May mouthed, before shaking her head quickly. That wasn't the important part.

"So Steven is in Kanto? On business?" she asked instead. "I kinda thought he ran off to train or look at rocks or something."

That sounded like some character defamation, but May didn't feel that it was entirely off base. Mr. Stone, having just called his Champion son delicate, just laughed. "Oh, I'm sure there's plenty of rock searching going on," he admitted. "But officially, yes, he's on Devon business." May wasn't entirely sure she liked the look he shot her. "Why don't I give you his number there? The PokeNav Plus won't be able to reach him, but a regular line will work."

His number, huh... Well, why not? Maybe she could make him pick up some souvenirs for her. Hoenn was great, but there were things she missed from the main island.

~.~.~

Naturally, the first thing Steven mentioned when she called was a rock.

"It's so mysterious! It's modest...yet hiding something wonderful!" he gushed. "Something seems to be shining inside of it!"

May sighed.

"I'm going to have it analyzed at the Pewter Museum in a few days, but I think it might be a Soul Dew," Steven went on. "The Soul Dew is said to be the solidified spirits of Latias and Latios."

"Latias?" That caught her attention.

"That's right. It has the power to bring out the true potential of Latias and Latios," Steven explained. "The spirits of these Pokémon and the Soul Dew call out to each other. That's why I think this enigmatic stone's true identity is the Soul Dew and how I found it in the first place — Latios was spotted in the area several times."

"Are you sure he's not just looking for you? You know, like Latias was," May said.

Steven laughed. "Me? You are the trainer Latias chose to place her trust in. I'm certain that you are the one she was searching for in the first place. I was just fortunate enough to be brought along as a witness."

...That made it sound like crossing paths with legendary Pokemon (and catching them) was all May's fate or something.

"But we're talking about Latios," May sidestepped. "Maybe he likes you better."

There was a pause, and she could imagine Steven making his usual thinking pose on the other end of the line. "For a battle? I would gladly oblige," he said.

She was thinking more to join, maybe after a battle, since Latios seemed more prideful than the playful Latias. Except that wasn't how most trainers thought of legendary Pokemon. ...Even Steven, the rock nerd extraordinaire, was more normal than her at this point. Groaning silently, May palmed her face.

"But if the true identity of that enigmatic stone is the Soul Dew after all," Steven went on, "I will give it to you when I return. Of course, Latias won't be able to hold both the Soul Dew and her Mega Stone. You'll have to choose one."

"...Thanks," May sighed.

So her souvenir would be a rock. Great. Priceless or not, she would have preferred a Rage Candy Bar.

~.~.~


	5. Heatran

**Notes:** There's only one Heatran in the games, obviously, but this is funnier.

~.~.~

 **#6-8 Heatran**

"Hmm..." Professor Birch drew out, staring closely at May's newest Pokemon. "Yup, this one's another girl!"

May opened her mouth, then hesitated for a long moment. This was the third time, but she still found it unbelievable. "...Are you sure? How can you even tell?"

It was a fair question. Nothing about the four legged mass of living molten metal that made up her third Heatran looked particularly female, or all that different from the male one she'd caught first.

"I'm a Pokemon Professor!" Professor Birch said cheerfully. "I can tell these things!"

This was the man that, on separate occasions, she'd saved from a Zigzagoon, a Poochyena, and a trained mover Machoke. And just last week, he'd mistaken his wife for a Pokemon. Nonetheless, May just nodded along.

"If they're male and female, does that mean they'll make an egg if I leave them at the daycare?" she asked instead.

It was Professor Birch's turn to hesitate to answer. "Well... I don't think so?" he offered, scratching at his beard. "There's no record of legendary Pokemon creating eggs, aside from Manaphy, and that is a rather complicate situation. But it's hard to tell. It's so rare to be able to study a legendary Pokemon, much less two of the same species!"

Probably because trainers generally stopped at catching just one. "There's an awful lot of Heatran in Hoenn," May agreed, ignoring that thought.

"They like to dwell in volcanoes, so ancient Hoenn would have been a perfect habitat for them. Then, when the volcanic activity lessened, they must have entered a state of hibernation and become buried under new layers of sediment," Professor Birch explained. He beamed at May. "You've done such a wonderful job finding them! You and Brendan have really helped advance my research — no, Pokemon research everywhere!"

Well, at least someone was happy...

~.~.~

In the name of science, May decided to go ahead and leave two of her Heatran — one male, one female — at the Daycare after all. If nothing else, it would free up some slots in her party. She'd gotten to the point where she had more legendary Pokemon than she could carry with her, but leaving them in the PC really was just a little too much even for her.

She had managed to fob Kyogre and Groudon off on the Weather Institute, also in the name of science, so that was something. Let those nerds deal with the constant rain or heat every time those ridiculous things were out of their Poke Balls. (It made using them in battle absolutely intolerable, and the Primal Reversions were even worse. The one time she tried them out on the Elite Four, Wallace called her immediately after to chew her out for almost two hours about the unstable weather they'd caused across every route between Evergrande and Lilycove. He was clearly still bitter about Groudon, or maybe the time Kyogre flooded his gym.)

...On second thought, she'd better leave those Heatran with the Battle Resort Daycare, not the one outside Mauville. At least all those hardcore trainers at Battle Maison would be nearby to keep them in line.

Too bad Flannery had refused to take the third Heatran off her hands — despite initially wandering around the scorched slab looking for it herself. ...Which was probably smart of her, since a traded, outsider legendary would be even harder to control than the normal lack of obedience. But still. Was she a Fire type specialist or not?

Maybe May could pawn it off on Steven. It was also a Steel type, after all...

~.~.~

Not that having too many Heatran was going to stop May from looking for more.

She could practically hear her father sighing at her, but at least half of her bullheadedness came from him. Now that she'd decided to find and catch all the legendary Pokemon in Hoenn, little things like having no idea what to do with them weren't going to stop her. She was a trainer, after all — gotta catch 'em all.

Also, she tended to stumble on those Heatran almost by accident, just poking around in old caves, and they were very aggressive when roused. The second one had chased her all the way outside, where it ended up setting the grass and bushes on fire just from the heat it gave off in its rage.

Returning to Fortree, May headed back out onto Route 120. The scorched slab where she had found Heatran stood empty now, but when she had been investigating the area before, she had noticed what looked like another old cave in the cliffs above.

It looked similar enough from the outside, but there was none of the stifling heat as she moved deeper in. So probably not another Heatran — thank goodness.

There was nothing, actually. No Zubats, no Geodudes, which was strange in its own way. Hoenn was teeming with Pokemon, even more so after Kyogre's awakening. Caves were almost notoriously full of life, to the point where you could barely go three steps without tripping over some Pokemon. Even the Cave of Origin and the Heatran's dwellings had been like that.

So what made them avoid this place in particular?

The cave was absolutely silent except for the quiet dripping of water from the ceiling and her own footsteps. It made a shiver crawl up her spine.

But May's Ability would probably have been Contrary, if she had one (to go with her Rash Nature), and she only squared her shoulder before forging onward.

At the end of the cave, there was... still nothing.

But didn't the back wall look a bit too smooth to be natural? Reaching out, May ran her fingers along the almost polished stone.

"...Huh."

There — she felt something under her fingertips. A series of raised dots, forming a pattern. This place... had been made by people.

A slow smile spread across May's face. Now things were getting interesting.

~.~.~


	6. Registeel

**Notes:** I've simplified the unsealing methods for the golems, for reasons of laziness and to reduce the gimmicky nature of the process.

~.~.~

 **#9 Registeel**

"May! Over here!" Brendan called out, waving both arms over his head vigorously. It wasn't particularly necessary — Pacificlog was so tiny it barely qualified as a town, and May was hardly going to miss him standing there in front of the Pokemon Center.

"Thanks for meeting me here," she said, slipping off Latias's back and making her way over to him. "And for helping with this."

"It's no big deal. I'm curious too," Brendan said, despite grinning happily. "I was checking the seafloor to see what new Pokemon had turned up, with the whole Kyogre thing — some Finneon and Frillish, actually — when I found it. It's kind of hard to reach, you have to dive down a pretty long tunnel, but there's place with lots of markings like that."

"Do you know what they are? I've never seen anything like that before," May said. "It's not like the carvings in the Ruins of Alph. And I don't think it's from the Draconids either. The Sky Pillar and Granite Cave didn't have it either."

Brendan shrugged. "I'm not really big on ancient history. We should probably take some pictures and give them to Devon or something... after we check it out ourselves, of course!"

Going new places, discovering secrets — that was also part of being a trainer, in May's opinion, and in Brendan's too.

"You've got scuba gear, right? We can both ride my Wailord," he suggested, clearing his throat a little. "He's, uh, pretty big, so it'll be easier. You gotta go through the currents the right way to get where you can dive down, so..."

"Why don't we just fly on Latias?" May interrupted. "She can dive too, straight from the air."

Still hovering behind him, Latias made a cheerful sound of agreement. Stuff like that — being perfectly willing to serve as an all-terrain vehicle for two teenagers — was precisely why May kept forgetting that Latias was technically a legendary Pokemon too.

"...Yeah, that works," Brendan said. Shooting Latias an uncertain look, he added, "It's gonna be a bit tight though. We'll have to... sit close."

May shrugged. She and Steven had fit, after all. "I don't really care," she said.

Oddly, Brendan seemed to slump a little at that. "You... Sometimes I wonder if you're really a girl," he muttered under his breath. She certainly had no sense of romance.

~.~.~

The first set of carvings was actually underwater. It was only a short series of dots, which May could barely feel under her water-wrinkled fingertips. She glanced at Brendan, sitting behind her, but he only shrugged and pointed up, into the darkness overhead. As Latias slowly ascended, the faint glow she was obligingly giving off with Flash lit up the stone ceiling of the underwater passage — and an opening leading upward, into a sealed chamber full of slightly stale air.

Pulling off her scuba gear, May looked around. "What are those?" she wondered, nodding toward the rows of stone slabs that lined the chamber.

"Dunno," Brendan said. "They all have dots on them, lots more than in the water. There's some on the back wall too — a bit less there. Nothing else though, just this one room. That's why I just kinda left it."

It had been a bit disappointing, finding something so obviously secret and purposefully hidden, only to get nothing out of it. He'd been left feeling like he was missing something, but he hadn't been able to figure out what it was for the life of him.

But May — well, she had a way of getting caught up in weird things. Maybe her strange luck would come through for them.

(It was a good thing May didn't know his thought process. It would have ended in tears — whether his or hers.)

Walking past the engraved stones, May squinted at the dots, but they made just as little sense as ever. Just as Brendan had said, the back wall was also different from the rest of the roughy carved chamber, unnaturally smooth just like in the ancient tomb May had found outside Fortree. Just like then, she reached out without thinking to run her fingers across the engravings—

Bright light flared suddenly from her pack, red and blue.

'Not again,' May thought dully, with nothing more than a sense of disgusted exasperation.

"What's going on?!" Brendan shouted, being far less accustomed to this kind of thing. "What is that?!"

It was the orbs, which she was still carrying around with her. How many times was that going to cause her problems? The whole chamber trembled as something activated, and a deep, dull sound echoed all around them.

But just as abruptly as it had started, everything stopped.

"What... what was that?" Brendan wondered, looking around nervously.

"Dunno," May admitted. "It sounded like a door opening, somewhere far away..."

She had a sudden, sinking suspicion. An open door, with her luck... 'Did we just unleash some other super powerful Pokemon on the region?'

She hoped not. Otherwise, Wallace was going to yell at her again. He still hadn't shut up about Groudon.

~.~.~

It was with some trepidation that May returned to Route 120 and the ancient tomb there.

The engraved slab in the back of the cave was gone. Sighing, May ducked through the opening and waited.

In the darkness beyond, something stirred. Seven small lights flashed in a quick pattern, and something large and heavy took a step toward her.

"Uuuuuuurgh," May groaned and palmed her face.

Sometimes, she hated being right.

~.~.~

"You figured it out already? That's fast," May said, genuinely impressed.

"We didn't decipher it from scratch," the Devon researcher demurred. "You see, this kind of writing has been previously recorded — in the northernmost reaches of Sinnoh. We simply cross-referenced the records from those cases."

May nodded slowly. So they just managed to find some probably obscure research about a small part of a region on the opposite side of the country with nothing to go on except "it looks like dots." Devon really did do absolutely anything and everything necessary. Well, historical research was probably small potatoes compared to space travel and interdimensional warping...

"That's still cool," she said. "So what do those rocks say?"

Clearing his throat, the researcher peered down at his tablet and read out, "Long did we live here in this cave. All thanks to the powerful Pokemon living alongside us. Yet, we sealed that Pokemon away, alone in the dark. We feared it. If you have the courage, if you still hold to hope, open the door. For beyond it, the eternal Pokemon waits."

"That... was an awfully small cave to live in," May said dubiously.

"Yes, it's quite puzzling," the researcher agreed. "The translation may be imperfect. There's some details we're still working out. In particular, we're not certain whether the Pokemon referred to is singular or plural."

May's eyebrow twitched. "...Plural?"

"In Sinnoh, the local legends refer to three titans of steel, rock and ice that helped and protected humans. The Pokemon you captured, Registeel, seems to be one of those titans," the researcher explained — unaware of the tic developing under May's eye. "They are universally treated as a set, so it is possible that these inscriptions refer to all three..."

"There's two more," May muttered. "Uuuuurgh."

"Oh, and the writing on the back wall," the researcher added. "It says: Bring together the power of land and the power of sea, and everything will be opened. Perhaps they were only willing to entrust the titans to someone who held the power of Kyogre and Groudon."

Great. Now she couldn't even pretend this wasn't her problem.

~.~.~


	7. And the rest

**#10 Regirock, #11 Regice, and #12 Regigigas**

Good news: Her PokeNav's Match Call was working just fine. Self-proclaimed Ruin Maniac Rusty had just called her to excitedly tell her about the opening that had opened up in some desert ruins on Route 111.

"You didn't go in, did you?" she wondered.

"Of course I did, lass!" Rusty chuckled. "What kind of ruin maniac would I be, if I left a ruin unexplored? But there's a big old powerful beastie in there that drove me right out! Looked like a moving hunk of rocks. But you're the expert on that, aren't you? So if you go, I'm sure you'll show it the old what for!"

Bad news: There were definitely three of them.

"Oh, I'll show it, alright," May muttered darkly. "Right into a Poke Ball, I'll show it."

And she did.

~.~.~

Its other friend, too.

The last golem was actually the most annoying, mostly because the island cave it had been sealed in was freezing because of its powers. Patches of frost had formed along the walls, and May was shivering miserably by the time her team had finally worn Regice down enough for her to nail it with a Poke Ball.

Teeth chattering, she glared at the ball as it rocked once, twice, thrice — daring it to burst open.

It clicked, and May let out of a deep sigh of relief. "Thank g-goodness," she muttered, then paused... and sneezed. "Now to get out of this miserable hole..."

Picking up Regice's Poke Ball and recalling her own Pokemon, May turned and headed toward the exit. Bright sunlight was streaming through the opening ahead, making her squint. Ah, to be out in the warm, warm sun again—

The light was suddenly blacked out, as something blocked the opening.

Left suddenly in almost complete darkness, May blinked like a Golbat at noon. A cloud? Too dark. A rockslide? But there hadn't been any noise or shaking. She squinted at the dark, shadowed shape and took a slow, dubious step forward, like she was sneaking up on some shaking grass.

She wasn't sneaky enough. The thing in front of the opening jerked into motion, just enough light slipping past to outline the massive arm it raised and slammed into the top of the hole, breaking off chunks of the rock — making it large enough for this thing to duck inside. Rows of small lights flashed across its front.

"Zuuuuuu—!"

It let off an unearthly screech as it took a step toward her, making May jump with a startled shriek.

"Hiyaaa—! Get away—!"

She reached for a Poke Ball. She meant to send out one of her Pokemon, but in her panic, she reached into the wrong pocket, the one with her spare balls. She threw the first one she got her hands on.

In retrospect, its weird texture probably should have given her pause, but...

"Zuuuuuu—!"

The ball hit the weird thing square in the center. It vanished in red light, sucked inside. Cursing, May reached into the right pocket this time and scrambled back into the cave to give her Pokemon room to appear.

"Go! Lati— ah?"

There was a very familiar click.

It was only then that May noticed... the ball on the ground in front of her was purple.

So, turned out there were actually four golems, and she accidentally wasted the Master Ball on the last one.

~.~.~

The PC beeped, finalizing the registration of the Poke Ball in its scanner. May frowned, peering at the information displayed.

"Steven..." she said slowly, "this is another Beldum."

"Yes," he agreed. Thinking for a long moment, he seemed to come to a realization — the wrong one. "Ah, I see. It would be more appropriate to trade you something closer in power to Heatran, wouldn't it?"

"That's not it, I don't need any more powerful Pokemon," May sighed. "But this is the third Beldum I've gotten from you. You know that the stuff about Metagross being four Beldums fused together is just nonsense, right?"

In other words, what did he think she was going to do with three Beldum? Of course, to Steven, this was basically a rhetorical question because why wouldn't you want three (or three dozen) Beldum?

Steven laughed. "Of course! None of my Metagross did anything of the sort. In any case, I hope you will be satisfied with this trade." She would be satisfied with basically anything, since she just wanted to get rid of the extra Heatran. "You see, this Beldum is special."

"Aren't they all special?" May muttered.

This was a mistake because Steven didn't understand sarcasm, or at least consistently pretended not to. "That right! I knew you'd understand! All Beldum are special," he agreed, nodding along with a satisfied smile. "Each has its own shine and luster, its unique angles, a different frequency of its magnetic signature... Beldum are the best!"

"They sure are," May agreed blandly.

Catching himself, Steven cleared his throat. "But this Beldum is special in a more obvious way. You see, Argent has a variant coloring. That silver sheen is very outstanding, wouldn't you say?"

"Yeah, okay, sure," May cut him off.

She'd been thinking of trying to pawn the golems off on him too, but she really had no idea what she'd do with a whole seven Beldum, being a normal human being and not a rock-loving nerd.

"So, what happened with Latios?" she asked instead. "Did you catch him?"

Judging by the blank look Steven gave her, no. "We have quite a spirited battle," he said. "His Steel Wing was absolutely magnificent. I hope Latios enjoyed it as well! And... I let him keep the Soul Dew, since he had come so far for it."

Latios did not learn Steel Wing naturally, May was absolutely sure. But it was possible for him or Latias to learn it through TM or tutoring... or if they really, really wanted to show off, she supposed. It was, notably, Steven's favorite move, and Latias had started outright giggling when May told her about all this Kanto, Soul Dew business.

Her twin, May suspected, was a dumb tsundere, who was probably sulking somewhere because Steven, being a normal person in some truly annoying ways, hadn't thought to just throw a Poke Ball at it. Just one would have been enough.

"But don't worry, I have something else for you," Steven went on. "Here, it's called a Clear Bell. Legend says that it can summon a legendary bird if you ring it with a pure heart."

That sounded dumb, but... 'I'm never ringing it,' May promised herself. Just in case.

(...She rang it later.)

~.~.~

 **End notes:** This isn't very funny anymore, so I'm gonna cut it here. Every other legendary you can catch in ORAS comes from Hoopa rings, so they don't really count, sorta.

Well, Heatran also comes from a ring, but the Scorched Slab was present in the original RSE and is a short but actual dungeon, complete with Flannery cameo, so it feels more like a real encounter.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you had a little fun at least!


End file.
